You’re Just Like So-and-So

I was talking to a new friend recently, and over the course of an evening, he told me that I reminded him of several different people. An ex-girlfriend. His ex-wife. Another ex-girlfriend. I think he may have even said I was just like them.

At first, I thought it was interesting. Then, as the evening progressed, I found it annoying, then rather bizarre. 

But, in retrospect, it may have been a great opportunity for healing. Often, there are things left unsaid in past relationships — or we’ve gained new insights and understandings over the years — and we would like to share that information with the person from long ago. 

Maybe it would have been really therapeutic for this man if I had asked him what he would like to say to each of these people — if I had stood in as a surrogate for each one of them. Maybe he could have experienced some closure or some peace or at least a bit of relief or even insight. Maybe he could have spotted some patterns and let go of them once and for all. 

Hmm. The next time someone tells me I’m just like someone they used to know, perhaps I’ll ask if there is something he or she would like to say to that person. I do love to be the conduit for that kind of healing.

Comments

[Kasey]

Oh, Sue! You are so insightful! Once again you entertained and taught in such a simple way! I love your newsletters!

[silvie]

Wow, that's a great idea.. Love this article and will try it with my friend as well..